Posted by toadstar on 1:44 PM

Happy Birthday Lucas!!!

It's been three years now, since my boy was born. And a lot has happened in those three years. A lot of events that have changed who I am forever, and made me a Daddy a word that still fills me with pride every time I hear him say it. I'm proud to be Luke's Daddy and I'm so glad that I get to show him around this planet for a while. There's nothing more exciting that teaching him new things and watching him understand and start to piece the world together.

I remember when he was born. I had just come to the realization that in a month, my son would be born. I still had so much to do to get ready. Aside from the physical preparations of cribs and strollers and all the baby paraphernalia, I still wasn't mentally ready. I look back now and think, how can you be. Fatherhood is a huge change and you don't know how strongly it will take hold of you. You can never be prepared for that. I remember the day after he was born I went to the store to get food and supplies, and in the car on the way there I was listening to the 80's channel and all those sappy old love songs had changed for me. They were no longer about the love of a man for a woman, they were about the love I have for my son. Realizing that everything kind of shifted and changed, I had a new outlook on life.

Luke's birth was hard, it left many scars on me and my wife. We went in for a routine exam only to be told that my wife had pre-eclampsia and they wanted to check us into the hospital for more tests. We were so scared. We had planned a homebirth. We didn't want a traumatic birth for our son and now we were faced with the fact that they may schedule us for and emergency c-section. I had only just realized that he was due in a month and now they are telling me that my son could be birthed today. I was so scared. My wife was too, this is not how we planned to start parenthood. We checked in on a Wednesday and they ran some tests. Friday they started to induce labor. I was grateful that they at least were going to let us try and deliver naturally, but they made sure that we knew, if my wife did not progress they would do a c-section.

Honestly I don't think that we could have gotten away with as much as we did if it wasn't for our midwife and one of the nurses that was to be our back up midwife. It was great having someone there to help up, to try and protect our wishes. Things started coming to a head late Saturday afternoon. My wife wasn't progressing fast enough and Lucas wasn't in position. The doctor was on his way to check on my wife. My midwife, our nurse and I all placed our hands on my wife's belly and the nurse placed one on my wife's cervix, she was trying to massage it open, while her other hand and our hands tried to push Lucas into position. They began to pray-please let this baby get into position... I'm not one that wears my religion on my sleeve and I'm not really one for spontaneous public prayer, but this was one of the most moving emotional moments in my life. All the power and love that was in that room all for my son. It was amazing. I don't think that this moment had as much impact on my wife as it did on me, but it was one of the most spiritual moments of my life. What ever happened there actually worked, we were aloud to carry on.

Lucas was finally born at 3:21 Sunday morning. I remember my wife and I were so happy, so excited, so relieved to finally have our son we didn't notice that his cord was wrapped around his neck. It took a moment longer to realized that he wasn't breathing at that point I don't think that anyone in the room was breathing. Finally he screamed and everything was right in the world we still had some battles to fight before we could bring him home. But we fought them and survived, we may have been wounded in the fight, but we made it and since we've had the joy of raising our Lucas our sweet, kind, loving boy.

So here we are three years later. You've learned to walk. You've learned to talk. You've become a big brother and taught me a lot about life. You may drive me crazy, but I love you more than anything and you're one of the greatest joys in my life. So Happy Birthday Lucas, I love you.


Jackson Pollock by Miltos Manetas