Posted by toadstar on 1:51 PM
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Faith:

For a father pregnancy is an exercise in faith. I have to have faith that this child will grow and be healthy and strong. There is nothing that I can do to protect it, to make sure that it will be healthy and strong, I have to have faith that my child can find it's way onto this earth, that it's body is forming correctly, that it's okay. I wish that there was a way to see my child, to be able to know that it's okay, but I have to wait, and maybe in a few months I will be able to feel it wiggle under my touch or see it under and ultrasound. I remember seeing Lucas' ultrasound pictures for the first time, how amazing it was to see his little body, and his perfect little toes. It felt so good to know that he was okay, that he was a he. I didn't have to worry so much, knowing that he had ten fingers and ten toes.
I know that there are things that can be done to help ensure a healthy baby, eating right, not smoking, etc., but for the first couple of months especially I just feel so helpless, it doesn't feel real. I mean other that my wife being cranky and a couple of lines showing up on a stick when peed on, I have nothing tangible, if that makes sense. I mean I know that she is pregnant, but for the time being it's this abstract idea, there is nothing for me to hold on to, except for faith.

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Jackson Pollock by Miltos Manetas

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